literature

Jake's Bad Day

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Jake’s Bad Day
Jake’s sheets flew into the air as he flung them off his bed. He frantically searched under his
bed. “FUCK!!!” Jake yelled as he continued to tear apart his room. His door being kicked down and
slamming into the floor abruptly interrupted him.
“Hiya, Jake! What’cha doing?” Jack asked cheerily
“I’m looking for my rare piece of candy! I can’t believe I lost it!” yelled Jake as he
overturned his desk.
“Oh yeah, THAT…” said Jack
Suddenly, a shocked look of realization appeared on Jake’s face. He turned and glared at
Jack and scowled “You ATE it… didn’t you?” Jack was too busy chewing on Jake’s un-hinged
door to respond, “Do you have ANY idea how much that was worth?” Jake hissed
“It tasted like about…………. 1462300000NR” Jack mumbled as he finished off the corner
of Jake’s door.
“I have this strong urge to tear your guts out” Jake said bluntly. However, Jack was too busy
tumbling down the stairs to hear him “let’s go find Sue and do something… FUN”
Jake and Jack wandered outside in search of Sue, their other friend, to do something evil to Jack to
take out Jake’s rage and help him forget about the whole ‘rare candy’ thing. As they approached
Sue’s house, they realized someone was already standing on her front step.
“Excuse me, is Sue home?” Jake asked. There was no response. Jake ignored him and
pressed the doorbell.
“Hey moron, I’m over here,” said Sue. Jake turned around and saw Sue and Jack standing at
the other end of the walk.
“How did you…” Jake stuttered
“A better question is: Don’t you EVER pay attention when you come here? That’s the
second time you’ve walked past me without seeing me, are you just stupid?”
“Anyway… lets go do something,” Jake said
Jake and Sue walked a bit ahead of Jack so they could plan without him hearing. “Jack ate
my rare piece of candy, let’s torture him for a little”
“All right, but afterwards, why don’t you just pick the only other identical one?”
“You mean there’s ANOTHER one?” Jake asked desperately
“Yeah, Jack’s got a map that leads to it. I hear it’ll take a bit of planning and good
equipment, but I bet we can handle it as-is” said Sue
“All right!” said Jake “Let’s get that map!” Jake walked over to Jack, who was scaring
children.
“I’M A ZOMBIE!!!” yelled Jack as he ran around flailing his arms.
“Hey, Jack, do you have that map?” Jake whispered to him “If we find what it leads to, I’ll
forgive you for eating my candy”
“Really?” Jack said loudly “OK! But I hid it and made a map that leads to it!”
“…You can’t be serious…” groaned Jake “don’t you know where it is? Why don’t you just
go get it?”
“I FORGOT WHERE I PUT IT!” yelled Jack as he stood with a stupid looking grin on his
face “I’ll just go get my OTHER map from my house and then we can look for the real map!”
“Have I EVER told you how much I hate you?” grumbled Jake
“Yeah, probably, well let’s go!”
Jack, Jake, and Sue went to Jack’s house to get the map that leads to the map that leads to
the candy identical to the one that Jake had but Jack ate. On the way there, Jake noticed the guy still
standing in front of Sue’s house. He looked…familiar. Jake couldn’t remember where he knew him
from, so he just ignored it and kept walking. When they reached Jack’s house, he ran upstairs and
came back holding a piece of paper in his hand.
“All right! Let’s get started!” said Jack as he handed the map to Jake
“Um……….this map sucks. I have no idea what it means” said Jake “ do you remember
what it means?’
“It means you go to the junkyard first” interrupted Sue “then go south three blocks, go west
through the ‘trap area’ and across a big pit to where the map is stored.”
“How the hell did you figure THAT out?” Jake asked
“It’s not that hard. You’re just stupid” sue responded “Let’s go”
“Wait… there’s a junkyard?”
As they walked to the junkyard that Jake had no idea even existed… Jake realized the
person in front of Sue’s house still hadn’t moved. He decided to go talk to him.
“Hey, is something wrong?” he asked as he tapped the person on the shoulder. As he turned
around, Jake’s face went pale. He pointed straight at Jake and said…
“Jake!” yelled Annoying
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” screamed Jake as he ran back to Jake and Sue “RUN
FOR YOUR SANITY!”
“What’s the problem, did you see something that doesn’t make sense because you’re a
moron?” asked Sue sarcastically.
“NO! IT”S ANNOYING!!” yelled Jake
“Sure... you’re just trying to scare…”
“Sue!” Annoying yelled
“OH GOD, RUN!!!!” screamed Sue as she clung to Jake’s head.
“How can I run with you clinging onto my head?” Jake asked frantically
“JUST DO IT!” yelled sue as she jabbed her shotgun into his chin
“Eep” Jake started running as fast as he could, with Annoying close behind yelling out
random names of stuff.
Just as they were approaching the junkyard, Annoying’s voice trailed off and became
non-existent. All that remained was a sound like that of a vacuum… in truth, it actually WAS
Vacum.
“Thanks Vacum” gasped Jake. Vacum gave him a thumbs up and walked away
Just then, Jack came running up “Hey guys! I just inhaled a whole potato!” Sue got off
Jake’s head, picked up a brick off the ground and threw it at him.
“Ok, so now we’re here, but which way is north?” said Jake. He took out the map and
realized how entirely useless it was, and then put it back away.
“We’re going SOUTH now,” said Sue “that’s easy to figure out”
“How?” asked Jake
“The wind always blows south from the junkyard,” she said. She picked some grass and
dropped it. As it floated away, Sue said, “That way is south.”
“Wait… did you KNOW Annoying was standing at your doorstep?” Jake asked
“There was someone at my doorstep?” responded Sue
Three blocks later… They arrived at what looked like an abandoned house. “This is the
‘trap area’!” Jack said happily
“Please tell me YOU didn’t set up the traps…” moaned Jake
“Of course I did. Who else would have?” Jack said
Jake sighed and walked inside. Immediately after entering, Jack threw himself on the ground
and started crawling. “Um... Jack? What’re you doing?” asked Jake
“Tripwire!” was all Jack said
“Um… tripwire goes on the ground... I’d see it if...” Jake was interrupted by a large razor
that fell just in front of him “GAAAAHHHOHMYGOD!!!!!” He yelled. Then he also laid on the
ground and started crawling up the steps.
When they reached the second floor, Jack stood up “Now we have to jump out of this
window and into the window of the building just over there!” said Jack
“Why didn’t we just go in the other house to begin with?...” Jake asked
“Why would I set up traps if no one was going to have to go through them?” Jack jumped
out the window and across the gap between the buildings.
“I hate you,”
Jake jumped through the window after Jack and landed… in Jack’s room… Jack walked
over to his desk and said, “Ok, so here’s where I had the map we have now…” he pointed at a book
“That means…” He lifted up the book and there was the other map. “Oh yeah, I didn’t want to loose
the original so I put it under the second one!”
Jake leaped into the air at Jack holding a knife. Jack walked out of the door just in time as Jake
landed on the ground “I… WILL… KILL… HIM!”
“You can later. We need that map,” said Sue. Then they walked downstairs and Jack was
waiting for them at his front door.
“Give me the actual map…” groaned Jake “I’ll lead this time”
Jack handed Jake the first map and he proceeded to decipher it. “Okay… we’re supposed to
start at the mountains… those are over there,” he pointed southeast “let’s get going then, it should
take a while to walk.”
After they finally arrived, Jake took out his map again “Wow… it’s actually just here
somewhere. I really thought we would have to go even farther… Wait, where’s Jack?”
“I’m in here!” Jack yelled from inside a cave.
Jake and Sue went to the mouth of the cave and looked inside. It was basically just a cave
with a really big hole going straight down. “It’s down there… isn’t it,” Jake said
“Probably,” said Sue “Only one way to find out”
“Yeah, let’s start climbing then” Jake mumbled
“What? I meant let’s throw Jack down the hole and he’ll tell us when he hits the bottom.”
“So there’s not actually just one way…” Jake started
“Yes there is. It’s the ONLY way,” said Sue
“Eek” escaped Jake’s mouth
“WHAT’RE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!” Jack yelled
“Don’t yell! We’re right next to you, you idiot!” scowled Jake
“All right,” Jack whispered
“Never mind, why don’t you go over and look at that hole over there?” said Jake
“All right,” Jack whispered
“Stop whispering,” Jake whined “You’re driving me crazy!”
“OKAY!!!!!!!!!!” Jack screamed
Jake covered his ears and simply pointed at the large hole in the center of the cave. Jack ran
over to look down the hole and estimate it’s depth. Jake walked up and shoved him down the hole.
“That was fun,” Jake said, feeling a little bit better. They heard a muffled thud as Jack hit the
bottom of the pit
“It’s not THAT deep, we can just jump,” said Sue. She jumped into the hole, shortly
followed by Jake. When they hit the ground, they saw a short tunnel and a door.
“There it is!”  Said Jake “Finally! Now I can go get my candy then torture Jack!”
“Wait, what?” said Jack
Jake charged through the door and his face went pale. On a pedestal in the middle of the
room was…
“WOW! It’s the golden dust buster!” yelled Jack “I’ve always wanted one of these!”
Suddenly, Jake started yelling, “I THOUGHT YOU SAID THE MAP LED TO
CANDY!!!”
“Other map,” said Sue
Jake walked up to Jack and tore his brain out and threw it on the floor. “HA!!!!!” He yelled.
Then he stormed out of the room.
“That’s ok,” said Jake “I never used it anyway!” Then he sat on the ground and started
eating dirt.
This was a project for school. Since none of the teachers really knew anything about my characters, it was hard for them to understand exactly what i was trying to say. but, since you all SHOULD know about them, i can submit this without being bombarded with questions! HA!

Please note: 2000NR = 1$
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